End of an Era

With a Steady flow of tears running down my face,
My Beloved BabyGirl has ended Her Chapter in this life with me

I wanted BabyGirl’s last ride to be in style, because Limousines had become such an important part of my life, after all that was how I met my  beloved Lynn.
I made a call  after call to hire a limo to drive her to her final vet visit and no one  would take us,  I understood I really did but I also knew her.. and already planned for it with a large white comforter to put her on in case of any accidents and I offered to  put down a deposit but  the answer was still a resounding no.  UNTIL I made a call to one man and explained the entire situation  and that I Had to know ahead of time to make the appointment.  This wonderful man came to my rescue, he never even batted an eye so to speak, as soon as he heard my story he said he would happily take this ride, all the way from St Louis to give my sweet BabyGirl her last ride in STYLE. Her final journey would be in a limousine. 

I Will Always Love you my Sweet BabyGirl
With a broken heart  I had to make the decision to allow my precious BabyGirl to cross over Rainbow’s Bridge. The sparkle in her eyes was beginning to diminish, she had a more difficult time getting up and down, and had to be helped to walk. After everything she had been through in her life, and after overcoming  not being able to stand or walk when she was young and yet live a long and happy  productive life, I owed it to her to allow her to have dignity at the very end.  She walked all by herself from the limo through the front doors of the clinic (with me by her side in case she were to start to fall). She went into the vet’s waiting room where we had already made the appointment no mom ever wants to make.  When we walked through the doors, the office personnel collectively burst into a sigh of sadness many with tears in their eyes – just to watch her come through those doors , they all saw the appointment on the books and knew why we were there.  One by one they came from behind the counter to see her and give her a pet and hug.  My chauffeur was a wonderful man, who waited for us, the long wait. Dr Oberle was on a farm call when we arrived so we waited a bit, which was fine by me as it gave me more minutes with my sweet BabyGirl. We were guided into a room and we sat on the floor together.  Her head in my lap I tried not to cry as I didn’t want her to think she had done something wrong to make me cry or to feel sad in her last minutes.  We talked, I sang to her softly which I did  many many times  before.  I had a pocketful of gum drops  and I gave her  one at a time  when she would look at me and lick her lips.. it was all I could do to hold back those tears, But I had to.. for her.  Dr Oberle arrive d and the first thing out of his mouth was .. I drove up and saw that Limo..  I thought ONLY YOU would do something like that for a goat. Yeah it did make me smile for a moment. Then he gave her an injection to  make her sleepy before the final one.  He talked to us for a few minutes and then left us to bond for a bit  – he would be back to finish soon enough. 20 minutes later he came back and BabyGirl was happily chewing cud and acting as if it was just another day.  He was surprised. That injection should have worked by now. NOPE.. Alrighty then , he gave her another one. When he returned this time she was woozy.. I  had pulled her up closer to me so she was more on my lap – we had a blanket of the floor we were sitting on, but I wanted her touching as much of me as I could have.  I was leaned over  cheek to cheek with her and my arm around her so I could feel her chest and rocked her.  When he gave that final injection it was but seconds before her breathing stopped.. she made one final little tiny sigh that absolutely broke my heart into a million pieces. I fell apart. Completely.
I let him know I wanted a necropsy  (akin to a human autopsy) to see what was causing her most recent  issue of not being able to hold down food. I needed to know.  So we waited outside for him to perform the necropsy.  We stepped outside, my friend who went with me,  the  chauffeur and I . We talked about BabyGirl and all the silly things she did – I made it a point to let this man know how very grateful I was he did this for us. Soon Dr Oberle came back and his first  question was, WHY  is  there a green gum drop in her rumen?  I had to laugh.. I pulled the baggy of  the rest of them  from  purse and showed him  that they were her favorite treats.. he smiled and shook his head.  His findings were nothing unusual, no blockage, no tumors,  the only thing he could figure was that over time and age her neck deformity finally created so much pressure on her vagus nerve it was not allowing food to stay in her rumen so she was bringing it back up.  He said it was sad that her heart and lungs and  other organs were more like a 10 year old goat – not a 15 year old goat  and asked if I was sure of her age, Well she was born on my farm and I was most absolutely sure of her age. Other than her spine pressing on her nerve like that  she was an otherwise healthy goat  who may have been able to go on another 5 or 6 years. He assured me, I did the right thing, this was Not something he could have fixed. I needed to know that. He kept BabyGirl’s remains so he could cremate her and give me her ashes. By the time we got back home , our 3 hour  limo appointment  turned into a 5 hour  adventure. God Bless this man, Dado, who owned this limousine company for only charging me  for the 3 hours.  And God Bless his wife who was  waiting dinner on him.  They both have  become  my  extended family angels. 
I keep her ashes near me all the time. 
2019
I still cry sometimes when I think about her and still miss her terribly
even though it has been 6 years. I sleep with her memorial pillow 
It helps a little
Sharing her story helps too. It gives me a chance to read  and remember what we all went through. The good and the bad.
She was a huge part of 15 years of my life. 

January 22, 1998~April 16, 2013

 

So, there you have it, the story of a little goat who tugged at the heartstrings of everyone she met, over came the odds, in a big way many times,  gave me some beautiful kids, and eventually  grandkids,  and now great great great grandkids.  She lived far beyond the years she was expected to and gave so much love to me – those final 2 years when she spent most of her time in the house, we ate together, slept together everything we did – we did together. Yes it left a huge hole in my heart  and it was the hardest decision I ever had to make – and what made it even more difficult is that I had to make it for a week in advance to coordinate the limousine with the vet’s appointment for the one day a week he was in his office into the evening for me.  That was a long week of wondering if I was making the right  choice or not, and one week or looking at her and counting down the hours and minutes I had left with her.  I made the right choice.  She left this world  walking into the vet’s office on her own 4 hoofies with dignity and pride  and a smile on her face…

and a green gumdrop in her rumen.  🙂

 

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